I can't live without you
by SakuraRi
Summary: Syaoran leaves Japan, but not before confesssing his feelings. Both miss eachother and find soon they can't live without eachother. Will they be together in the end?S+S


Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, so don't sue me. I only have about two dollars.  
  
This is first fic so please be nice. For anyone who doesn't know S+S is Sakura and Syaoran. Syaoran is the Japanese version name for Li, Touya is Tori, Yurkio is Julian and Mr. Kinomoto is Sakura and Touya's dad. I only put this because my guidance consular said he would read it. This is basically the usual S+S mush.  
  
Sakura and Syaoran stood at the airport saying their good-byes. Syaoran now had to go back to Hong Kong to his family.  
"I wish you never had to leave, Li. I'll miss you and I'll never forget you," said Sakura in a sad tone.  
"I'll miss you too and I'll think of you every day. I have to go back to Hong Kong even though I don't want to.," Syaoran said in a bold and yet sad tone, as he thought of what lay ahead as well as the past.  
Watching not too far away were Tomoyo and her mom., Yurkio, Touya, Mr. Kinomoto, and of course Meilin (Tomoyo was of taping).  
Meilin then said," Come on, Syaoran or we'll miss our flight," as she hooked her arm with Syaoran's. She grinned an evil grin at Sakura and walked away coolly.  
With tears streaming down her face, Sakura ran to Syaoran as he walked away. Syaoran unhooked his arm with Meilin's, as he looked at Sakura's tear - streaked face.  
"Syaoran, I love you."  
To Syaoran those three words opened up a new world to him! It meant she really did love him! All the times he was afraid that she didn't love him now meant nothing because she did love him!  
Instead of looking serious, angry, or sad he looked....*dreamy*. And on his face was a dreamy smile as he said," And I love you my Sakura."  
Those three words did the same to Sakura as they did Syaoran. Syaoran and Sakura stared dreamily at each other as Sakura thought to herself that he called her his! It meant he didn't love Meilin! She had been afraid to tell him for fear he would tell her he loved Meilin.  
Both Sakura and Syaoran drifted off into a daze. They just zoned out into their own worlds, each feeling the love they had been so afraid to feel.  
" We are going to miss our flight!" yelled Meilin angrily, which woke both Sakura and Syaoran from their dazes.  
" Oh right. I guess we better go then. Goodbye everyone! Goodbye Sakura!" he said with a smile especially reserved for her. He then slipped her a tiny envelope and whispered to her to open it when everyone else was asleep. Sakura told him she would.  
" Bye, Syaoran!" she said.  
" Bye Li-kun," said Tomoyo-chan.  
" Bye Li-kun," said everyone else, including Kero who inside Sakura's pocket that the note wasn't in. Meilin practically had to drag Li onto the plane away from Sakura.  
"Goodbye, Syaoran," Sakura whispered fingering the note in her pocket as the plane took off.  
On the airplane a face was pressed against the window and a hand was waving. It was Syaoran. Sakura smiled when she saw him and waved back.  
" Now the gaki is finally gone," said Touya with a smirk.  
" He is *NOT* a gaki!!!" Sakura yelled angrily as she stamped on his foot REALLY HARD.  
" Yeeeeow!!!" yelled Touya," That hurt!!!"  
" It was supposed to," Sakura said smugly while Touya jumped up and down holding his aching left foot.  
******************************On*The*Plane************************************  
" You love me not her! How could you do this to me?! You cheated on me! She doesn't love you, I do! She's not even pretty! I'm better than she is!" Meilin yelled at Syaoran.  
Other people on the plane stared at Meilin and Syaoran started blushing and sweatdropping. For the rest of the plane ride Meilin wouldn't talk to him unless she wanted to yell at (more like lecture) him.  
******************************At*Sakura's*House*******************************  
" He'll be back soon. I know he'll write. Don't worry. He loves you. He won't forget you," Tomoyo said in order to comfort her best friend. What she didn't know was how soon he'd be back.  
A tear slid down Sakura's cheek until it finally dropped onto her lap. Sakura looked down at her lap to where the tear fell, just as another one fell. As she looked down her auburn hear fell over her tear stained face and tear-filled eyes, hiding them. The tears she forbade to come slid faster down her face, onto her lap. she let out a sob and the flood gates opened.  
" Li said he loved you, didn't he? That defiantly means he'll come back. I know you'll miss each other, but you can always call and write. You may not be able to see him, but I've got lots of pictures and he's on the video tapes. I'll make him send pictures."  
When talking didn't comfort Sakura, Tomoyo opened her arms and let Sakura cry on her shoulder until she felt better. The two of them sat there, Tomoyo holding her best friend as she cried.  
Kero had at first figured Tomoyo could handle and Sakura would be all right. Besides it had to do with that gaki. But he didn't like to see Sakura cry so he flew over into her arms and did his best to hug her and not be squeezed to death.  
Touya had heard and watched all this except when Kero flew over to Sakura. Touya was forced to admit Sakura was in love and growing up. Even so, he refused to acknowledge it. He couldn't believe his sister was crying over that brat. He still couldn't forget the first time he saw Syaoran. He was being mean to his sister and nobody could do that, but him. In fact, that's exactly what he told him.  
He hated the fact his sister was crying and who she was crying over. he wished Syaoran had never come to Japan, but the moment he wished that he took it back. He had seen the way the brat made his sister smile and how happy he made her. He couldn't take that away and he knew that Sakura made Li-kun feel the same way. They were happy together, but he still didn't like him. He couldn't stand the thought that they would kiss some day. To him that was a disgusting picture that made him shudder. He almost fell over when he heard them tell each other that they loved each other.  
Because he hated to see her cry, he decided to comfort her. He walked into her room and kneeled down next to her and put is arms around her. He noticed Kero-chan in her arms as still and lifeless as a stuffed animal, but paid no attention. He may have been comforting Sakura, but it didn't mean he was accepting Li-kun, or at least that's what he told himself.  
****************************Back*at*Hong*Kong*********************************  
Syaoran and Meilin stepped of the plane. They decided to act like nothing happened. Besides, Syaoran wasn't sure he was ready to tell his family about Sakura. It had been hard enough telling Sakura he loved her let alone his family. He also wasn't sure his family would like the fact that he loved someone outside of the family. They wanted him to love Meilin, but he only loved her like a sister.  
" Don't forget to act like nothing happened." Syaoran said to Meilin.  
" Don't worry, I won't. I'm still mad at you though."  
" I know."  
" Hello my little wolf. I'm glad you're back," said Syaoran's mom.  
" It's good to see you Meilin."  
" Hello daughter," said meilin's mom.  
" Where are my sisters?" asked Syaoran.  
" They're at home so the couldn't attack you when you got off the plane."  
" Good," said Syaoran with a sigh of relief.  
" The clan is upset you failed in our mission, but we'll talk about that later." his mom said.  
They drove home and as soon as he stepped in the door, he was attacked by his four sisters.  
" Syaoran! You're home!"  
Oh no! thought Syaoran as they "attacked". He tried to get away, but the were like angry wasps (except they weren't angry), they wouldn't go away.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Sakura had tried not to cry too long. She reassured herself that she knew he would come back.  
" Arigato," Sakura said to Touya and Tomoyo.  
Touya walked away and nodded.  
Tomoyo said," You're welcome."   
Sakura and the others didn't know Sakura's dad was watching them. He knew it was better to let Sakura work it out a little before he talked to her. He knew she would probably want to talk to Tomoyo about it.  
He walked in and asked," Sakura, daijoubu desu ka?"  
" Hai! Daijobu desu!" Sakura answered as her eyes brightened with happiness.  
Touya got up and left the room mumbling something about Yurkio and the phone.  
Sakura slid her hand into her pocket and smiled when she felt the note. Syaoran had never really given her a note before. Mabey one, but it had to do with the Clow Cards.She wonder what it said and thought "It must be personal or important if he wants me to read it at night.'  
" What are you smiling about, Sakura-chan?"  
" Hm? Oh, I was just thinking about something," Sakura answered quickly. *sweatdrop*  
" What were you thinking about? Mabey Li-kun?"  
" Not necessarily Tomyo-chan. Mabey I was looking at Kero-chan who is OBSESSING over that video game!" Sakura said looking at Kero who had gone back to his video game.  
" Nani? It's a good game," said Kero innocently.  
I rolled my eyes at Kero as he returned to his video game and laughed along with Tomoyo-chan.  
The rest of the day passed quickly. Yurkio came over, but I didn't excited like I used to. I don't have a crush on him anymore. After dinner Tomoyo-chan and Yurkio-san went home. When it was time for bed I got into my pajamas and said goodnight to Dad and Touya.  
After everyone was asleep I began reading.  
  
My Dearest Sakura,  
I don't know if I'll have told you this by now. But I want you to know that I love you. I was afraid to tell for fear you didn't feel the same way. Now that I'm leaving, I have to tell you. I hope you don't cry when I'm gone. I love you and I never want to hurt you. Will you write to me, my Sakura? When I get home I'll buy a camera so I can send you pictures. You have captured my heart, Sakura; I will come back. No matter what happens I will come back for my cherry blossom. Don't be sad that I'm gone because my heart is with you. Only the rest of me is gone. Will you wait for me Sakuru?  
Your Syaoran  
As I began reading my face reddened like a tomato. My dearest Sakura? My cherry blossom? Your Syaoran? My Syaoran? My Syaoran! I thought happily. I love you too Syaoran! I'll wait for you! Forever.  
Sakura got out of bed and began dancing around quietly with happiness. But then she stopped suddenly. She felt a certain loneliness.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Syaoran looked out the window wistfully. *sigh* I looked out the window. I saw the reflection of her face on it. I raised my arm and my fingers gently touched the window, just gliding in place with longing.  
" Sakura......." I whispered. *sigh*  
The image seemed to disappear. I knew she hadn't really been there, that her sparkling green eyes weren't really looking at me. Knew it wasn't really her reflection; it was only because I could picture her so well. And yet, it had seemed so real. Part of me had almost wanted to believe it really was her starring back at me. I could feel the loneliness inside. It felt as if there was a hole inside of me, like part of me was missing.  
I was sad, but at the same time I could feel a slight happiness. Sakura loved me! I suddenly knew what it was like to love and be loved back from that same girl.  
**Flashback**  
She ran towards me, tears running down her face. I turned around.  
" Syaoran I love you."  
I looked at her. She really did love me! She had said the three words I had always wanted her to say. The three words that meant everything to me.  
" And I love you my Sakura."  
Her green eyes immanently lighted up and shone with happiness. Touya almost fell over. I almost laugh when I think of that. I think Tomoyo-chan said," KAWAII!!!" but I'm not sure because all that mattered was she loved me.  
**End of flashback**  
I changed into my pajamas and said good night to Mother. I didn't even bother to say goodnight to my sisters. They would just attack me. I slipped underneath the covers and tried to go to sleep. I began to toss and turn. No position seemed comfortable. I just couldn't sleep. Finally I sat up. I walked over to the window and opened it. I let the cool night air blow over my face. Sakura had probably read my note by now. I wonder what she thought of it.  
" Syaoran! Syaoran!" I can hear her calling my name. i know it's only my imagination, but part of me wondres if it really is her calling to me from Japan. The blowing wind seems to bring her cries with it. I answer them with a whisper.  
" Sakura! Sakura!"  
I remember how sad she was when I told her I was going home.  
**Flashback**  
" What did you want to tell me Syaoran?"  
" I'm going back to Hong Kong tomorrow."  
Her eyes filled with tears.  
" Tomorrow?"  
" Yeah..."  
" So you're going back home?"  
I turned and looked at wall, not wanting to face her and see her eyes which seemed to be green, liquid pools of sadness.  
" I guess you could put it that way."  
She seemed confused, but somehow knew I didn't want to back. What she didn't know was that to me Hong Kong was no longer my home, Japan was. I spent the rest of the day with her. That night I did what I should have done a long time ago. I wrote a note telling her how I felt, since I couldn't tell her out loud.  
**End of Flashback**   
"Sakura....." My eyes suddenly felt wet of reasons I couldn't explain. I looked at my hand as a single tear fell on it. I blinked in surprise and stared at the tear on my hand. Did I just cry? Was that a tear? Never had I cried. Never. Then why now? It was only one tear, but a first for me. Since I met Sakura I have had emotions I couldn't explain. I understand a lot of that was love. I decided just to forget about the tear I shed.  
A sudden thought appeared in my head. When I was six or seven I discovered if I howled like a wolf it freaked and scared my sisters. I decided to do it now. I tilted my head back and let out a long cry. My sisters would think I was trying to scare them, but really it was a cry of sadness. I got back in bed and somehow fell asleep.  
*****************************************************************************************  
I walked over to the window and gazed out. Everything was the same, except one apartment, Syaoran's, was empty. Part of me felt just like the inside of his apartment. I let my fingertips glide over the surface of the window with longing. My fingertips stopped in the middle of the window, barely touching. *sigh* I felt a longing that was the strongest I ever had. I had sometimes loged for a mother, but it was nothing like this. I wondered if I would ever see him again. I knew he wanted to, but I didn't know if the clan would let him. I have to admit that the thought of the clan making him marry Meilin had crossed my mind, and it taunted me in a way. I know that is a long way off, but really it was just a worry of the clan rejecting me.  
I closed my eyes. I could picture him perfectly. His brown hair and amber eyes. His sturdy figure. How messy his hair was. I could hear his voice.   
" I'm going back to Hong Kong tomarrow." My eyes snapped open. He'll come back, I told myself. He'll come back. I picked up his note and blushed.  
" Syaoran! Syaoran!" I called in a whisper longingly. There he was , in front of me. Not really, but I could picture him so well. It sounded like he answered me," Sakura! Sakura!"  
I opened the window. The cool night air came in my room. A night breeze blew, blowing my hair away from my face and cooling my cheeks. I gazed up at the stars and knew that in Hong Kong Syaoran was looking at the same stars. A small smile appeared on my face, but it didn't ease the lonleyness in my heart, nor did it fill the empty hole inside me.  
" I love you Syaoran," I whispered into the wind and got into bed. I feel asleep.  
*****************************************************************************************  
The clan wasn't pleased at all at my failure. I trained harder than ever. Not just because I was older, but also that I had failed in my mission and I must need more training. I didn't care. All I could think about was Sakura. I know they wouldn't understand why I couldn't take them from her. Not only was she not unwilling to give the cards up but, those smiling green eyes stopped me.  
Meilin could tell I was thinking about her. It was probably the look on my face that told Meilin. She would turn white with fury and clench her fists. I might have almost found it funny if I hadn't missed Sakura so much. When my mother caught her, she asked what was wrong. I told her it was nothing and we only had a disagreement in Japan. Mother knew not to pry and left us alone.  
Days turned into weeks. each day seemed no different than the next. Time seemed to have no meaning anymore. All it meant was I wasn't with my cherry blossom. Although I went through the day in a mechinical way, I learned to smile a little. Without Sakura I couldn't, or at least the thought of her anyways. At night I would stare out my window. I longed for her now that I was in a place where I had so little friends and no one payed as much attention conserning me. Even so I tried to be nice to Meilin. I acted as if nothing was up. but my heart would have told you different. No matter where I was or what I was doing the thought of her was always there even if it was in the back of my mind. My sisters attacked me and I fought back, but really my heart wasn't in it. I told myself it was test and I would win. I would be happy and eventually be with Sakura. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.  
What really kept me going was her letters. They said what she couldn't say outloud. I've memorised the first one.   
My Dearest Syaoran,  
I love you too. I didn't tell you for the same reason you didn't tell me. I miss you, but I've tried not to cry for your sake. I have ,but you understand. You make my heart fly. My heart is with you in Homg Kong. Ko i shi te ru! You've only left part of me behind; you have stolen my heart. It seems we have traded. I will wait for you. Forever. Forever, no matter what my little wolf. Take good care of my heart, my Syaoran. I will take good care of yours. Ai shiteru! You try not to be sad too. Onichan claims you are still a gaki. I disagree. i think he's a baka! Don't tell him that! Ja ne Syaoran.  
Your Sakura  
p.s. I gave Touya a good kick.  
My syaoran? You make my heart fly? I love you Sakura. Even though she missed me and was probably sad she was still her happy self. That made me smile. I decided right then and there I would be happy too. Part of me would be missing, but it didn't mean I had to be miserable. When I could go back to Japan, back to Sakura, then I really would be happy.  
Soon I found it was a little easier said than done. Everything was the same, but something was missing. I found I couldn't get through a day without hearing her voice or reading a letter from her. I kept all of this a secret. I was always the first to get the mail. I didn't want my sisters teassing me and I couldn't wait for her letters either. All her letters were kept in a locked box and I talked to her on the telephone in the bathroom. Because Tomoyo thought we were so kawaii, I offen wondered if she had thought of bugging the phone. If she hadn't I wasn't going to give her the idea. Meilin was mad at me for awhile,but she cooled down after awhile like I knew she would. Plus I think she liked a guy. I say her looking at a guy's butt, and she blushed when I caught her. I began to realise just how much I needed Sakura. I felt like I could no longer live without my cherry blossom. I wrote her a letter.  
My cherry blossom,  
Life seems to mean little without you. I want you. I miss you and I need you. A day isn't a day anymore, it's a day without you. My heart belongs to you. I feel like I can't live another day without you. I would love to see you again. I can't believe how romantic I'm being. Then again, I can because I'm being romantic to you. Of cource I'm not always romantic. I like to just spend time with you. How are you surviving Sakura? I'm probably to young to think this, but I feel as if I want to be with you forever. Ja ne for now my Sakura.  
Your little wolf  
P.S. Don't write back for now. You'll find out why soon.  
I needed to see Sakura.  
*****************************************************************************************  
I found it hard to live without Syaoran. On the Monday after he left, I saw his empty seat as I sat down and turned around. I looked at his empyt seat sadly. *sigh* Rita walked over and handed me a flower. She smiled at me reasuringly. I sighed again. She knew not to ask questions. She knew it was because of Syaoran.  
" Thanks Rita."  
" Your welcome."  
She walked away and Tomoyo-chan began talking about costumes or something, but all I could think of was Syaoran.  
" Sakura are you even listening to me?"  
" Huh? Oh, gomen Tomoyo-chan."  
" Snap out of it Sakura!Your life isn't over you know?" she said while smiling.  
" I know." I said with a grin, and thought to myself: sometimes it feels like it.  
" Hey, Tomoyo-chan?"  
" Yeah?"  
" Do you want to go get a new video game with me for Kero-chan after school?"  
" Sure. Are free after that?"  
" Yeah, why?"  
" I have some new costumes I want you to try on!"  
*sweatdrop*  
Mr.Terada entered the room and the class became quiet. After taking atendence he glanced at Syaoran's empty seat and said," Everyone is present." Not everyone is present. Syaoran is in Hong Kong. Come back Syaoran,  
Even though we weren't in elementy school anymore, Mr.Terada was still our teacher. One of the teachers went to another school so now he's our teacher again.  
I payed attention until the middle of class and began thinking of Syaoran.  
*flashback*  
I ran to him with a tear-streaked face. I needed to tell him before he left, even if he rejected me. I was afraid to take that chance. I had been rejected before. But he was leaving and I didn't know if he would be coming back.  
" Syaoran, I love you." He smiled at me and had a look on his face I never saw before. He had a dreamy look on his face!  
Then he said the three words that meant more than anything to me," And I love you, my Sakura." He also called me his.  
*end flashback*  
*blush*  
" Kinomoto. Kinomoto. Kinomoto!"  
" Huh? Oh. Gomen nasi Mr.Terada!"  
" Please do the problem on the board Kinamoto."  
Tomoyo pointed out the problem to me and I walked up to the board.  
" That is correct. Sit down now. Try to pat attention for the rest of class."  
I quickly nodded. How I got through the rest of the day I had no idea.  
Soon, days turned into weeks, weeks without Syaoran. At night I would look out the window at the sky. Sometimes I sang quietly. Many times I blew a kiss out the window. It was silly, but I liked doing it. It's hard to explain, but I giggled afterwards. I brang Syaoran's first note with me everywhere. The rest I kept in a box that had a wolf and cherry blossom tree carved into it.  
Sometimes my dad and Touya seemed concered and I would smile at them. They never said anything though. I was fine and still my usual happy self. There was nothing different except part of me was missing - Syaoran. I was first to get the mail because I didn't want Touya to see his letters. Syaoran and I wrote to each other almost everyday. When Touya knew I had talked to Syaoran, he would sometimes mumble something containing the word gaki. I would occasionly stomp on his foot and one time he asked hopefully," Aren't you a little old for that?" "Nope," was my answer. Sometimes I would laugh afterwards, but it was short lived. My dreams and thoughts were only of Syaoran. It was weird to have an empty seat behind me, to have no one I could annoy Touya with or to not be able to see him when I wanted. I truely and deeply missed and loved him. I continuely wrote to him. I couldn't live without him. One day I recieved a letter from him that puzzeled me.  
My cherry blossom,  
Life seems to mean little without you. I want you. I miss you. A day isn't a day anymore, it's a day without you. My heart belongs to you. I feel like I can't live another day without you. I would love to see you again. I can't believe how romantic I'm being. Then again I can, because I'm being romantic to you. Of corse I'm not always romantic. I just like spending time with you. How are you surviving, Sakura? I'm probably to young to think this, but I feel as if I want to be with forever. Ja ne for now, my Sakura.  
Your little wolf  
P.S. Don't write back. You'll find out why soon.  
He wanted to be with me forever! *blush* I wonder if the clan will let him. I can't live without you either, my little wolf and I want to live with forever! Oh, how I would love to see you again! I wish I could! I wonder why he doesn't want me to write back.  
*************************************A*Few*Days*Later*************************************  
It was Saturday morning and Touya and her dad were at work. She had just gotten dressed and eaten. She had no plans, or at least she didn't until the doorbell rang. Her mouth dropped open with surprise when she saw who it was. It was Syaoran! She ran to him and threw her arms around him. Syaoran almost fell over. He put his arms around her as she said," Syaoran!"  
" Sakura......" he said gently.  
" I missed you," she said as she lifted a face with lines of tears upon it.  
" I missed you too. Are you okay?"  
" Hai. I'm crying because I'm happy."  
He smiled and said," I love you my cherry blossom."  
Before she could reply, he leened over and his lips brushed hers, giving her her first kiss as well as his own. They pulled apart and Sakura gently touched his face.  
" Ko i shi te ru, Syaoran."  
H smiled and said," I'm not going to leave again Sakura. I will be with you forever. they can't take you form me. Even if they make me go back to Hong Kong, I am still with you. I love you. We are never apart my Sakura. I will never leave."  
" I will wait for you if you ever have to go. I can't live without you either. I know you'll never leave me."  
The two of then embraced and knew they would be together forever especially since they couldn't live without eachother.  
He knew he would stay. He would never leave again. His heart was with Sakura, so his home was in Japan. He wouldn't marry Meilin.  
Where ever he went she would go. She knew he would never leave her, just as she would never leave him. They needed each other.  
They stood there embraced, knowing how much they needed each other. Behind them unheard to their ears someone whispered something.  
"Kawaii!"  
***The End***  
Author's notes: I'm finished!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It took me a long time to finish. I would have put it up months ago, but I forgot about it. I just finished typing it. Please review. I would like to know what you think. This is my first fic. Comments and suggestions are accepted, but NO FLAMEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I just wanted to say the first part about the comments, but I'm serious about the no flamez thing)I like spelling flames with a z instead on an s. Sakura are probably in High School in this fic. Only reason being I don't beleive in dating at a young age because of my relgion. I couldn't imagine Sakura kissing at ten anyways. I'm not a serious person so expect weird and funny fics. My brother and i are writing a halirous fic right now called Piccli and Vegetable. Coming to a web page near you(as soon as we finish).REVEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( Cala and Trunks you better review! I mean it!)  
-Sakura-chan  
Japanese Terms   
Sakura, daijoubu desu ka?-Sakura, are you alright/okay?  
Hai-yes  
Daijobu desu-I'm alright/okay  
Nani-what  
Ko i shi te ru-I'm in love with you  
Ai shiteru-I love you  
Onichan-elder brother  
gaki-bratt  
ja ne-see ya(I think it means that. It could also mean bye)  
gomen-sorry  
gomen nasi-very sorry  
kawaii-cute  
  
Anyone know what the Japanese word for penguin or at least how to spell it?   
  



End file.
